I turned 25 this week, and they are not kidding about the quarter-life crisis. Aside from feeling mopey this entire week, I can hear the theme to Jeopardy playing in the back of my head at all times.
To sum up the week before my 25th birthday, I cried in the bathtub twice, cried into a gallon of Blue Bell Peppermint Ice Cream, looked at photos of myself at 19, cried about that and watched a lot of horror movies. The last part has nothing to do with turning 25; I just like horror movies.
To preface this, I am dealing with a little bit of depression, so this might seem all dramatic. But I think some of my feelings are the same as normal people who are turning 25.
Here is just a little snippet of what is going on in my thought rollercoaster:
For starters, I know I was clueless in the 5th grade, but we all have ideas of what we would be doing at 25. I grew up in a community where everyone got married and had babies right out of high school, so I thought at 25 I would be in the middle of doing just that. HA.
And obviously, I am not. And honestly, I am VERY HAPPY that I am not. But I cant help to think I am behind on something or I am missing out on something. It’s a weird feeling to be sad about something you don’t have, but don’t really want right now either.
After over-analyzing this for the last few days, I have finally figured out that turning 25 means my trial period is over. And although I don’t give a shit what people think, this means a lot of uncomfortable conversations with people that I don’t want to have. For example, yeah, I own a home, and no I am not married. I don’t need a man in order to be a successful, badass boss lady. And I will NEVER rely on another person to support me. Thanks, but I am fully capable. (Don’t get me wrong, I still love men. They are just trash and make it extremely hard.)
But aside from the stupid pressure from society, I also feel as if I am mourning my youth. Like, remember when you could eat a chicken basket and a blizzard from Dairy Queen and didn’t gain 10 pounds instantly. Or, remember when you would binge-drink for an entire weekend and just have a slight headache.
I also have a very youthful, rebellious spirit – and what am I supposed to do if I can’t rebel against anything? WHO AM I?!?
Or hey, remember beer? Remember when you could drink beer and not get bloated and sick instantly? Or remember when you didn’t have to worry about raking leaves because if they cover the grass for too long it will die? Because it wasn’t your grass, and you were a selfish little butthole.
I could go on and on, but I will spare you.
So as this post is going live, I am 25 and a day. For the first time in my life, I am closer to 30 than I am to 20.
And if you have stumbled upon this post, and you are also officially older, you are not alone. Be dramatic. Demand cake. Demand ice cream. Demand margaritas. Do something stupid.
And then get over it and get even older 😊
Because like me, I am sure you have accomplished something in the 25 years of life you have lived.
ADULT ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF TAYLOR, 25
Raised happy dogs
Renovated a house (and still going)
Replaced toilet flapper thing
Cleaned out the plumbing system
Repaired a dryer
Installed wallpaper
Fixed a broken drawer with a pushpin
Won the war against fleas, 2017
GOALS OF TAYLOR BEFORE SHE IS 30
Get a laptop that isn’t from 2012
Go to a movie by myself
Change a tire
Learn to not kill a plant
That one thing that we put on the list that’s inappropriate
Along with the other thing
That’s pretty much what’s going on in my head in a nutshell. Soz for the rant.
